Here is the summary of discussion with my therapist in the second session:
- Live in the moment, get out of the past and plan for the future. If you don’t live in the moment, how are you going to move on? The past has happened and now you should plan on what you want in the future.
- The past has happened, take the good and move on. Would you erase those good years? There are lessons that you can take and then move on.
- When you are reminded of the past, you need to start making new memories. You need to overwrite those memories and focus on new ones.
- Keep a journal (which is what I’m doing now!) and everyday write about a good experience/incident even if it’s something superficial like talking about food, shopping. It doesn’t always have to be a deep, meaningful conversation. From there, you create new memories.
- You cannot always replicate your life in the past to now. Do you think you will experience that same happiness as you did the first time? It is not possible that you will feel the same happiness as you did before.
- Previously, I tried to replicate my life back in A to fit my life in M. Time, place and people are different so need to remember that those are good memories but then you try to get different kinds of experiences. Probably explains why I would feel so miserable each time I think about the past. Things are different and will never be the same again.
- Attachment issues – Need to set healthy boundaries with people. (But how do you set the boundaries when people are persistent in wanting to see you all the time etc?). Something to think about.
- ‘Principal + interest’ analogy: Have to pay off all these bit by bit to slowly get over.
- Sleep disturbance – REM